It’s been a long time since the last time I wrote about how I feel.
Anyway, ang aga kong nagising because of the rain. Talagang sabay na sabay ang panahon sa feelings ko. Alam mo ba kung bakit ko nasabi ‘yon? Kasi umiiyak ang puso ko! Mas na-miss ko na naman kasi si Ino. Matagal-tagal ko rin siyang hindi natawagan, e. kagabi, natawagan ko siya pero bitin pa rin, e. It’s not enough to make my heart stop, stop from crying. Since the last time I saw him my heart has always been sad. I thought I’ll never be sad again. Maybe I’m laughing but inside I’m crying. Minsan, parang gusto ko nang lumayo dito nang maging malaya naman ako even just for awhile. Kung bakit kasi hindi ako maintindihan nila mama. Kung ang akala nila ay gaya ako ng mga napag-uusapang nabubuntis diyan sa tabi-tabi, aba, do’n sila maling-mali! As if naman na papaya ako. Duh! Of course NOT! I know that they simply want to protect me pero, hindi kaya over na sila na pati happiness ko ay nasisira na? Parang wala naman silang tiwala sa ‘kin. Hindi ba pwedeng for once in my life, pagkatiwalaan nila ako? Kung kailang masayang-masaya na ako, nabitin pa! kailan kaya ako sasaya ulit ng gano’n?
Haay..
Bigla ko tuloy naalala the last time na nagkita kami. Ang saya-saya-saya ko noon. Gustong-gusto ko siyang yakapin that time but I didn’t know how. (Tignan mo nga naman ang inosente sa pakikipagboyfriend, walang alam!) Feels like I want to go back to that moment, to that very moment when I was holding his hands as if I never want to let him go. No’ng niyakap niya ako, parang ayoko nang umuwi. I felt secured with his embrace! (nakakainis naman, e! tumutulo na naman luha ko!) parang gusto ko nang sumama sa kanya pero hindi naman pwede.
Hay naku!
My birthday is coming. And I don’t want any celebration to happen at all! It’s going to be USELESS if I won’t see him. I’d still be sad kahit na magkaroon pa ng birthday celebration. I’m turning 16 but it wouldn’t be sweet without him. Yah! I’ll be happy to be with my friends and family but I’ll be happier if he will be there. Alam mo ba? He asked me kung anong gusto kong gift for my birthday! Sabi ko, “Anything! Basta galling sa ‘yo.” Alam mo ba kung anong isinagot ni loko?! Sabi niya, “What if ring? Engagement ring.” GRABE! As in I was so shocked with what he said! Ni hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko! Bigla ko na lang nasabi sa saili ko, Mahal talaga ako ng taong ‘to! I asked him if he was serious and he said yes.
Hay naku!
I never did think of these things! Never had imagined of someone to love me. Dati talaga I used to be alone, I used to love only myself besides from God, my family and friends. I never thought of having a boyfriend at all. But suddenly, this man, Ino, my boyfriend, just came into my life unexpectedly. Akala ko before he’s just another friend, hindi pala! ‘Yun pala, he’ll make a big change in me, in my life… Hay…
Ang daming nangyari sa buhay ko na kailanman ay hindi ko inasahan. At alam ko, marami pang mangyayari. I hope that my life will end with a HAPPY ENDING!
-denise 050609
I'm sharing this with the thought of hope that people would somehow understand me.
I'm sharing this as another way of saying that I am also a human being, that I also get hurt and has dreams, fancies.
I'm
sharing this to show how having a diary, or simply writing, to express
or bring out your thoughts and feelings helps a person to ease his
burdens.
I'm sharing this as a way of showing how Love is important in someone's life.
